Posts tagged subway

Don’t Scare Your Mother

I was standing on the subway platform and a little girl went running and her mom grabbed her and started screaming “you don’t ever ever run along the platform! What if you fell?” The little girl got scared and started to cry.

The best part was the mom was so loud and angry that even I got a scared and might have been a little close to crying myself.

Reason #275 I’m A New Yorker

Yesterday I was getting on the N/R. As the train was slowing down, I saw a homeless guy lying down the middle of a car.

Now this wasn’t just any homeless guy, I’ve actually seen him on the subway twice before.

EXPERIENCE 1: About 7 years ago, I was riding the subway (once again the N/R), and this same homeless guy unbuttoned his pants and started peeing all over himself. At the next stop, there was a mass exodus, myself included.

EXPERIENCE 2: About 3 years ago, I was riding the subway (this time, I think it was the 1/9) and I casually stepped onto the car. After a few seconds I realized that my fellow straphangers wer curiously all crowded into the first half of the car. One woman had a rather startled look on her face. As the train accelerated, I noticed a train of yellow liquid slowly progressing towards me. As I looked up, sure enough, it was my old friend, dingaling out for all to see and he was pissing all over the subway car. Once again, I fled.

So yesterday, as the car was slowing down and I saw this guy lying on the bench, I knew there was only one thing I could do, I walked to the next car. But, wanting others to benefit from my experience, I did grab a couple who were walking towards PeeGuy’s subway car and simply said, “Trust me, don’t go into that car.”

So reason #275 you might be a New Yorker is: if you recognize homless people on the train and know to avoid them peeing on you (unless your into that, but that’s a different reason alltogether).