It’s cute Junior’s Cheesecake gave me two forks for my carrot cake cheesecake. Like I’m sharing this bitch.
Woman at NYC Fast Food Restaurant: Performance art, hyper-localized marketing, or just plain bonkers?
It’s Fleet Week… Let’s celebrate.
Chris Matthews: You’ve been on this show for 20 minutes now, you’ve sang six bars of something called “Muffin Top” -
Jenna: Thank you.
Chris Matthew: and then told a disgusting story about Fleet Week.
One of my favorite Jenna moments.
Really hoping Jenna sends in one of her Fleet Week moments.
All I ever get on the subway is a mariachi band and occasionally that a capella group that ends each performance with “smile, it’s free and doesn’t mess up your hair.”
Call me old fashioned, but I was taught that when a parrot says hello to you, you say hello back. It’s the polite thing to do.
Broadway’s “It Gets Better Video”
I was standing on the subway platform and a little girl went running and her mom grabbed her and started screaming “you don’t ever ever run along the platform! What if you fell?” The little girl got scared and started to cry.
The best part was the mom was so loud and angry that even I got a scared and might have been a little close to crying myself.
No one should stand in the way of Alec Baldwin marrying Jesse Tyler Ferguson…
you know mariah’s asshole was clenched so tight when this happened

When your spokesperson declines at the last minute to participate in an interview opportunity you secured
Found the best shots of the day
Bless [X]
this is going to be absolutely insufferable but I’ll probably hate watch...